Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Notes from the Speaker's Desk – iGovern East '14

It was an enjoyable week at camp this year. As is customary, I, the Speaker of the House, have many adoring fans. Their loyalty was demonstrated by the House's near unanimous support for the Nick Barden Galaxy Bill, which was intended to rename a galaxy after me and grant various counselors their own solar systems within. This is the third year that bill has been introduced, but, as is custom, my good friend and arch-nemesis Sen. Glenn Bertsch railed against it in committee and succeeded in bringing about its ultimate demise. Something about "constitutionality" and "naming authority being vested in the IAU." Trifles.

The Gold Party did superbly this year. After a 6-candidate packed primary race, Bridget Carlstrom and Jesse Taft managed to eek out a win by a single vote, clinching a Gold presidency in a historically Blue dominated camp. The Orange Party, a long-time staple of the camp, was notably absent this year, while another third party, styling themselves "The Diamond Party," emerged to considerably less success. Their most significant contribution was airing a video ad that said, in summary, "we know we're terrible, maybe next year." They just don't make third parties like they used to.

The Gold and Blue Party presidential tickets, with their respective hacks.

Blue Party also achieved considerable success, with Azariah Clements ascending to the presidency. The superb diplomatic and foreign policy skills within the executive branch managed to bring about an amicable solution to the foreign policy crisis in                                                                                                                     . Though history goes to the winners, I suppose it is only fitting to note that the David Locke and Jackson Hicks campaign managed to run the election to a razor-thin margin, a feat all the more impressive for iGovern rookies.

A GenJ Whovian FB group also emerged in the wake of the camp. This came after the introduction of the Dalek Weaponization Act, which, after overwhelming support in the House, died in the Senate.

Mr. Speaker with a pair of Whovians

It is customary for any interesting and entertaining bill which enjoys bipartisan support to die in the Senate. Sen. Bertsch, it would seem, is all srs bsns.

MikeyTuttle, also known as Flyingbananamonster, Nick Barden Pro Tempore, or The Prince of Orange, managed to make several cameo appearances throughout the course of camp.

Meanwhile, I'm hoping for a Gold sweep against Sen. Bertsch this year, and am greatly looking forward to returning to Gold-held iGovern West in Colorado Springs. Adieu, and back to the old drawing board...

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