Friday, May 30, 2014

iGovern: Oh the Things You Can Do!

So you read last week's post, and for some reason have convinced yourself that a selfie-filled summer of doing lame and unproductive things might still be better than being the President of the United States or Boris, The Russian Ambassador. 

Or perhaps your plans are a bit more sophisticated than video-games and bathroom selfies, and include things such as going to the mall, getting a suntan on your back porch, or drinking a pitcher full of lemonade that you bought from a little kid's stand for $2.

Fair enough. We respect that. Buying lemonade (and cheap jewelry at Claire's) is a great way to support your local economy.

But we'll see your lackadaisical mall excursions and lazy suntanning sessions and raise you a 36-point non-exhaustive list of mind-blowingly awesome things you can DO at iGovern 2014.

The Mind-Blowingly Awesome, Non-Exhaustive List of Cool Stuff to do at iGovern

 1). Topple an unstable Middle-Eastern Government.
 2). Revoke an ambassador’s diplomatic immunity.
 3). Force a cabinet member to resign.
 4). Impeach the president of the United States.
 5). Build a grassroots Alpaca Rights movement.
 6). Pass a sane, reasonable, and responsible bill into law.
 7). Form a third-party.
 8). Say something reckless in the newspaper.
 9). Nuke the moon.*
 10). Wax eloquent on the floor of the House.
 11). Filibuster on the floor of the Senate.
 12). Rappel down the side of a mountain.
 13). Get your picture in front of the White House.
 14). Throw a dodgeball at the President of the United States.
 15). Subpoena an ambassador to testify before committee.
 16). Serve as the security detail for a presidential candidate.
 17). Mangle an unsuspecting Congressman’s bill.
 18). Sing songs with a traveling mariachi band.
 19). Balance the budget.
 20). Start a war.
 21). Chair a committee.
 22). Broker a peace agreement.
 23). Take a selfie in the U.S. Capitol.
 24). Take a selfie on top of a mountain.
 25). Take a selfie on a beach in Hawaii.
 26). Make a fortune in the stock market.
 27). Make a lifelong friend.
 28). Stage a protest at a party meeting.
 29). Buy out that back page of a newspaper.
 30). Bribe an elected official.*
 31). Pass the “Nick Barden Galaxy Bill.”
 32). Land a multi-million dollar endorsement at a formal gala.
 33). Sponsor war games on the Great Lakes.
 34). Bring a guitar into a session of Congress.
 36). Glitterbomb Jeremiah Lorrig.

iGovern, where anything** is possible.

*Not recommended.
**Subject to availability. Some terms and conditions apply. See camp staff for details.

Click here for more information or to register for iGovern!