Tuesday, July 24, 2012

GenJ Through an Intern's Eyes: Who's the king?


For those who have not been following my posts, I have discussed the intricacies of the Generation Joshua office by analyzing the Fellowship of the Cubes and the Two Powers. You have been introduced to the likes or Frodo, Samwise, Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, Saruman, and Gandalf. Now I would like to introduce you to our fearless leader, Elrond.


Elrond
Elrond is none other than our director, Will Estrada. Will’s will has and will continue to be the law of the office. All final decisions must be approved by the all-wise elvish Lord. Under his leadership, GenJ has become the shining city of Minas Tirith: a beacon of hope to politically active youth everywhere. Just what type of leader is this Elrond? I will tell you.

Imagine a dungeon full of darkness and unimaginable things (such as what you might find on Lucas’s desk). Suddenly, a bright light comes and breaks down the doors to the dungeon, and the captives are freed as they are filled with the happiness and joy coming from the light. This is only a slightly hyperbolic analogy to Will’s entrance to the office. Will has to be one of the most joyful and cheerful elves you will ever meet. Every time he enters the office, he makes sure to greet everyone (including the intern) with a smile and a genuine inquiry as to how they are doing. He is truly an amazing boss.

Elrond is also in the front lines fighting orcs in Mordor (Capitol Hill). Will is one of our main lobbyists fighting for many important issues not limited to home schooling and parental rights. He teaches the methods of his lobbying powers in his class at our iGovern East camp (which you should attend next year). I think, however, that he hides the real secret to his powers. He is like a snail on speed. I consider myself a debater with a type A personality and a really fast walk, but I need to run to keep up with our tall Puerto Rican. Standing at 5’6”, Will knows how to move through the halls of Congress like a hot knife through butter, like a camel through water, and like a campaign through money. I think speed is his secret weapon. He is so fast that he leaves congressional staffers in a daze as he picks up the splinters of their blown minds.

Our elvish lord made sure to preserve his royal line this past weekend by having a son. To be precise, his wife had a son, but you get the picture. In other news, Will’s new favorite book is Hop on Pop. It is a new motivation to test his ab workout.

Will is a fearless leader, and the office would not be the same without him. Nevertheless, the question in the title of this post still remains: who is the king?

The King
We all know that the power in the office resides with the intern. The intern does all the work while everyone else pretends to be busy. Without the intern, the office would waste away as the White Tree died for lack of a leader.  As a descendent of a royal line myself, I am qualified for the position. Also, my great wisdom and experience make me the most capable person to manage the realm of GenJ. 

What the rest of the office does not know (and don’t tell them I said this) is that they all serve as my minions. Without asserting my authority or revealing my royalty, I direct the ways of GenJ. This is for the simple fact that I am a mutant with the power of the Force, which I got after a spider bite on a foreign planet that my parents sent me away from as it was being destroyed, after which I became a billionaire philanthropist that dresses like a bat and turns into a green monster when I get mad. That is more or less why I am the king.

Thank you so much for following this series. It is my goal that through all of the satire and exaggeration, you have become better acquainted with the workings of Generation Joshua. The GenJ office is an amazing place, and God has truly blessed me by working here. I hope you have enjoyed this tour of the GenJ headquarters, all through an intern’s eyes.

Andrew Ferguson, the King

2 comments: