Tuesday, July 10, 2012

GenJ Through an Intern's Eyes: The Fellowship of the Cubes

As a preface, the GenJ office just returned from camp and is operating on three-hour time difference. As a result, the following post may be devoid of all seriousness, but following posts will indeed discuss deeper matters…we think.

As the intern, I feel it is my duty to explain to the outside world the complexities and quirks of the GenJ office. The following three blog posts attempt to reveal some of the mystery surrounding the members of this crazy place.

The Fellowship of the Cubes

While the entire office is in a constant of state of change and conversation, the center of the craziness is the cubes. The cubes are relatively fluid as various members of the office wander from cube to cube working and talking. To understand the nature of the cubes, it is necessary to understand the members of this fellowship.

First is our resident Frodo, Glenn Bertsch, pronounced just like the tree. Glenn has the cube of power in the sense that if you need something, it is probably there. He also has the ability to make himself invisible by hiding behind his stacks of papers and files. His enjoyment of Swedish Fish and coffee fulfills his hobbit telos. He also carries the greatest burden since he always arrives early and works late. He is also a Man U, Yankees, and Shawn Johnson fan.

Next is his faithful Samwise Gamgee, Nick Barden. Nick and Glenn have been friends from time immemorial and have been compared to an old married couple. Nick is the resident talker who can tell wonderful stories of great journeys and speak of Heidegger in the morning. He is also the hipster that is not hipster…in other words, totally not mainstream. He likes to remind everyone that he is not the bottom of the food chain in the office. He is our resident philosopher king if you can’t tell from his blog posts.

Third is the short Legolas, Jill Roy, also known as the sarcastic oompa loompa. She is a fountain of elfish wisdom as she serves as the eye of the storm that is the GenJ office. Have a receipt? Give it to Jill. Need help with the Cupid Shuffle? Ask Jill. As the lone female in the cubes, she keeps the office from descending into pure chaos. She is also the chief of minions and loves to sing of potatoes. Skittles are the sure way to become her friend.

Next is Gimli or Lucas Mason, our resident mountain man. Lucas has both the beard and the endurance of our favorite dwarf. He is the newest member of the cubes after recently moving from the Mines of Moria. He has sought to become friends with Legolas by using proper manners around her. He does not like waking up in the morning and he does not mind telling people so. Lucas and Nick have extensive disagreements over the nature and necessity of philosophy, making Lucas the king of philodoxers

Finally, there is Aragorn or the perfect intern. I have the perfect balance of honor, leadership, and obedience. Without me, the office would descend into utter chaos regardless of how long it has limped on without me. I am also very humble, more humble than any bar none. No matter what anyone says, I am not the bottom of the totem pole. Nick has it all wrong. After all, I started a full week before he did. Enough said.

I hope this helps you understand the people of the GenJ cubes. Putting such different people in close proximity creates a ticking time bomb that blows up every 30 seconds. This makes for an “exciting” office.

Look for next week’s post as I discuss the Two Powers: Joel and Jeremiah all through an intern’s eyes.

Posted by Andrew Ferguson.


  1. Haha! Love the "most humble bar none" thing there. :)

  2. Nice post. Can't wait for next weeks! That will be interesting.