Tuesday, June 19, 2012

An Ode to Nerds.

Cute Little Munchkins

The posse departs for lunch.  Every day, while Gary Cooper still has 30 minutes of unadulterated sweating and a short walk ahead of him, it happens.  The procession files out, leaving me the lone employee, sitting in the cubicle I have been banished to until a long awaited technological deployment finally has it’s D-day and I can return to my cave.  Brady does seem happier with the lights on all day.  My return will undoubtedly crush his spirit, but happiness is overrated.

The topic today is Munchkin.  From what I gather, it is a game played by people much too nerdy for D&D.  Such a thing exists you ask?  Hahahahahahaha, I respond.  This lunchly tradition had its inception last week, in Mr. G’s absence while he was catching some well-deserved R&R in Washington state.  Supposedly this involved waterskiing.  I actually do believe this.  I saw Mr. G run once, and he is actually capable of very, very fast motion, at least when it is required to perpetuate unspeakable evil on campers at iGovern West.  (Oh yeah, sign up for iGovern West before late fees kick in.)
 Munchkin features the following tagline:

 “Kill The Monsters.  Steal The Treasure.  Stab Your Buddy.” 


Obviously, the announcement that Munckin was to be played during afternoon gormandization was met with a joyful squeal from Mr. G’s office, followed by his emerging with an MP5 and a triple barreled 18th century French pistol.  He continued past my place of exile and out the door.  I can only assume the weaponry went with him. 

In some, I daresay most, offices this would be an unusual event.  Security would be called.  No one would laugh.  Here, it is not only common, but expected.  Our office collection of firearms alone could easily conquer Northern Virginia, or even a small, weak country, like (insert obvious French joke here.  If I did, Samir Nasri would probably shush me.)    We also have costumes, ranging from prince to judge to Al Capone to monkey to pirate and back again to another type of judge. 

We like to have fun.  Being an introvert, I tend to prefer having my lunch breaks alone, as the craziness that consumes the office on a given day is simply to much for me to handle for eight straight hours.  But for most people here, Fergie, Nick, Glenn, Jill, Brady, Jeremiah, and Mr. G, that’s how they operate.  Crazy.  And while their level of nerdy craziness may not be for everyone, it is also what allows GenJ to produce programs like iObject, Kings Court, and iGovern.  If you have attended iGovern in the last four years, you know exactly what I am talking about.  You also know it continues to get crazier and crazier. 

Yes, it is easy to make fun of nerds, to dismiss their nerdy games and their nerdy conversations and the general aura of nerdiness that surrounds them.  Trust me, I do it all the time.  But let us not forget the words of the Bible, that I am pretty sure are from the Sermon on the Mount or something.   

“Blessed are the nerds, for they shall trick you into learning boring things about government by first tricking you into having fun while role-playing.”

Truly terrifying.  I’m way too smart and cool for that to ever work on me.


Not Lucas Mason


  1. The last paragraph made me laugh out loud. Hard. In a public place. It was awkward. :D